Why I’m Coming Out As Gay


I’ve never been more emotionally stressed in my life I just worry about your sanity and ability to do it all You gotta think this is the most expensive coming out video ever. When I told my parents it was shocking. Everything’s closing in on you. We’re running out of time. Am I ever finally gonna be happy? [Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha] [Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha] Today I’m meeting with the other Try Guys. Not only are they considering funding this video We have a really strict timeline on this because I dreamed to get this out in time for Pride. We also have to keep up with our two videos a week schedule And all the huge projects that are releasing during the summer. I’ve written it, I’m directing Choreographing And I’m starring in it. It comes at a time where even if I wasn’t releasing this I would still be pulling multiple all-nighters to get my day-job done. Ned: So this budget is a lot larger than you initially talked about. Eugene: Yes Ned: We have a crane?! Ned: Do we have to have a crane, though? Ned: Kane is straight up on a steadicam… Keith: He’s making awesome shots right now.
Ned: thing right now. Eugene: Everything I think is towards the fact that this is the most important video I will ever produce in my life for the internet. I wanna make sure I honor it with the most powerful way that I can make this statement And, Dad, that involves a crane. Ned: Son. You can have two cranes. How does it feel when you see comments, fans saying, “Oh! No, he’s bi. Oh, he’s pan.” I need to own up to who I am 100% as a person. It’s kind of a weird weight on my shoulders Because there’s so much more I can do as a person who is LGBT but also specifically gay. It’s gonna be like a really big release. There has been just a lot of concealing and withholding, and editing that I have done to protect myself. It’s not like I’m gonna be a different person the next day. It does mean that I don’t have to take a red pen through my life, mark out or tear out pages. Keith: Yeah, I’m excited for everybody to know what we know. Which is that you’re all the wonderful things that you are and also you’re gay. Eugene: Oh! There he is! All: Wowwwww! Eugene: You made it! There’s a lot of really personal reasons why I haven’t explicitly come out. We hold things back because we’re very scared that there’s going to be repercussions. I’m not even really comfortable talking about it right now. But I think I’ll be able to open up more about it later. But I just know that this is the time. I think sometimes you just know. Hi, I’m Cathleen. I’ve known Eugene for a very long time Almost ten years ago He was a server and I was a bartender Working at an upscale dim-sum restaurant. Called “Bao” One day during work I basically pitched him an idea that I wanted him to direct and he was like, “Cathleen, you know you’re being a producer right now, right?” And I was like, “Oh. Well I guess I’m a producer now.” Because this project is so meaningful for him and to be able to come back now, years later where we have a proper team and proper budget and give it the love that it deserves Kane: Uh, Eugene, what’s the meeting about today? The meeting today is with my core production team. We’re gonna go over the basic breakdown of the entire video How the crane that we’re renting is going to move about the space. It is of utmost importance to make sure that the way that I shotlist this is going to be to the T Perfectly timed, perfectly choreographed. Every shot should mean something. From the camera, to the set, to the producing. We all have to be in complete agreement about how to deliver the best message in the most efficient way. And the way that he sees things is so specific to him Even though he has honestly the most detailed shotlist, treatments, with crazy references It’s still impossible to really know what’s going on in his head or how he’s envisioning it Until you’re literally on set seeing it. Every single time I feel like I know what’s going on or like how it’s suppose to look. And then I get on set, I’m like, “Oh. I get it now.” Always like a 100 times better than what I thought it was. This is actually like getting into a warm bed. It’s like I’m returning home. I have always thrived off of design, cinematography, and dance and movement and the emotional interpretation of an idea. This really is the, I guess, exact polar opposite of a vlog. For me that is like returning home. This video is really more like how Eugene is as an artist. And I hope I can come back home like this more often. Kane: What are you most afraid of or nervous about? Eugene: I’m always nervous that when I attempt to do more traditional cinematic projects like this online that the audience might reject it. It’ll be difficult to see if the reasons I was withholding was because I was right about my fears. About who might not accept me anymore. I think I actually like doing these types of projects ’cause it’s so all encompassing for me that I can only focus on making this the best that it can be. And then we’ll see what happens with my own personal life. Kane: I’m curious about that and I think I’m gonna ask you a bit more in the next few days. Eugene: Yeah. Thanks, Kane. Eugene: I think that collar’s great. Eugene: All right, so we have Arianna, who’s doing makeup, on the phone. David & Farren: Hi! Eugene: And then, David, hairstylist extraordinaire. Farren is handling all the wardrobe. As is, apparent with any type of queer expression the styling is one of the most important things And I really wanna send a lot of strong messaging through the way that I look and the way that the other characters look So that is why the dream team is assembled here. The big thing is that we have six looks to breakdown for each scene. And they are essentially color-coded. We can use this time to discuss what is do-able, and also maybe the timing that we need for schedule. Eugene: I’m dying physically and mentally. I’ve never been more emotionally stressed in my life and I think it’s because so much of what is in this is wholly me. When I say that I’m kinda bleeding this video out, it’s not even a baby for me It’s literally just like slice me open and let my guts spill out. I’m just in constant emotional pain right now. Even rehearsal, I have to be the director, I have to be the producer. I have to be in charge and I have to have vision And people have to trust that I’m not gonna break down But it’s all just like stabbing my soul constantly. Like I was always so insecure, I was never 100% confident about myself as a person So to have to kinda trick yourself into being the most confident person as an artist so that people believe in you and they take low-rates to come work with you Like when I say to freak out, When you grab something and feel the weight, I want to see it in everyone’s faces. I had to sell a vision in a way that felt like It was worth their time. Thank you so much! Today when I choreographed, I wasn’t even able to choreograph myself, because I had to figure this out. Which is why I’m a little freaked out, because Weirdly, almost the most important aspect of this is what I do on camera And it is honestly the last thing I’m thinking about, because I have to do so much off of camera This whole week I went home and I just like- I don’t cry, I’m not really someone who cries Off camera: Why don’t you cry ? Eugene: Well, I cried a lot as a little kid All the time My parents told me that I was always very sensitive I could tell if someone was emotionally hurting And I think that just always put me in a weird mood so And I was a very depressed kid So at age thirty-three (laughs) Now, to say that I cried a lot, that was very indicative of just being a, a kid who also got pushed around by everybody Eventually, I did the thing where I hardened my shell and Dad and Mom said I stopped crying and I stopped crying after I was like twelve and I just, didn’t cry after that Off camera: Tell me more about that age Eugene: As a young kid I always thought I was bad, I just thought I was bad, naturally Because of what the church I was in was telling me, because of the society I was in, as a Southern person, or as a Korean When you grow up thinking that you’re bad for some reason, I think that really shifts the way that you look at the world I was never in a position where I had enough support Or education, or confidence in any area, that when someone ridiculed me for either being Asian When people thought I could be gay I was never at the point where I thought they were wrong I had a strong belief that I was not only bad, but I was wrong, there was something wrong with me A lot of my journey was kinda figuring out that I was never inherently a bad person You can put this in the video Kane- I- Am afraid that some people I’m very close to will disown me And not talk to me anymore Because of this video Knowing that someone might be homophobic, and a couple of people could be And that’s hard Kane: Do you think that’s it for everything? Eugene: We’re gonna find out There is also just a reason why Gay is such a toxic word to some people, and I think that Other words, like queer and LGBT mean nothing to some people I think it’s because there’s still people I care about, and there’s still systems I am a part of, that prescribe to that way of thinking It’s hard to express those complexities when you’re so public Ned: When Eugene first started to become popular online, he really put up a wall, and like, a shield Keith: His career has not just been about representing the LGBT community, it’s also about the Asian community It’s also about him, coming from a divorced household I think there’s a lot of things he needed to establish, he was a dominant, Asian producer He needed to show he was a huge for the LGBT culture If you think about ALL the things Eugene is trying to further with his career All the other careers he’s trying to help with his Like, it’s a lot

100 Comments

  1. I change my name too much August 3, 2019 at 4:09 pm

    The 17k ppl that disliked this are just mad that they cant be gay and happy🤷🏼‍♀️

  2. Shafee Cool August 3, 2019 at 4:54 pm

    I genuinely knew that Eugene would open up as LGBT because it felt like that would suit him better. I'm still happy for him and proud how he finally faced this head on.

  3. Gabee dit August 3, 2019 at 6:40 pm

    This gives me courage to make a come out, but I'm still afraid

  4. Lisa Kirk August 3, 2019 at 7:02 pm

    It should never be okay to admit your sexuality and be afraid of others reaction. You are beautiful Eugene and don't let anyone tell you differently xxx

  5. Felix Alexander August 3, 2019 at 9:43 pm

    Gross

  6. Jamless Jimin August 3, 2019 at 10:01 pm

    Why is it so fucking long? I just had a 5 minute conversation with my mom. Cool he’s gay. NOBODY GIVES A FUCK

  7. Gavin Best August 3, 2019 at 10:36 pm

    I love Eugene. He's really cool and funny. And the video? It was absolutely beautiful

  8. Patrick Roy August 3, 2019 at 11:40 pm

    R.I.P all Eugene fangirls.

  9. Danni Masters Studio August 4, 2019 at 1:19 am

    I still want to know why his jeans are so long in the blue scene… He never mentioned why.

  10. Danni Masters Studio August 4, 2019 at 1:23 am

    I still want to know why his jeans are so long in the blue scene… He never mentioned why. I also want to know what the dance is that his sister and mom are doing at the beginning of the music video… The one that's side to side before they do the playful spin and "shh" part they do together just before Eugene takes out the lipstick. I know it's a very traditional dance and I love it but don't know the name or how to find it.

  11. Danni Masters Studio August 4, 2019 at 1:25 am

    Does anyone know why his jeans are so long in the blue scene? I'm assuming it's metaphorical but he doesn't say and I really wish he did. It feels like something he of talked about because it's there for a reason. He didn't add an extra leg of length for no reason… That wouldn't make sense.

  12. Jeff Baldree August 4, 2019 at 3:30 am

    Powerful, inspiring, and beautiful.

  13. beckyerocks August 4, 2019 at 4:05 am

    Eugene: * is worried no one will watch his coming out video, and that no one will like it *
    Reality: the video has over 13 MILLION views, and counting, 1.4 MILLION likes, and 140 THOUSAND supportive comments

  14. Manny Perez August 4, 2019 at 8:23 am

    i’m mad he a fruit loop

  15. Jose Rodriguez August 4, 2019 at 11:34 am

    I support you 🙂 !!!

  16. Hannah J August 4, 2019 at 5:01 pm

    on eugene's statement "no one is finally happy": i think that is sort of true, because i believe happiness comes in waves and also it depends on what we focus in life. focus on the positive things, try to be positive and i believe that will attract positivity as well. and also i think it is so important to be your truest self, because that way you will also attract people who value you as who you really are. idk…just some thoughts i had when hearing him say "no one is finally happy".

  17. JLuvHK2386 August 4, 2019 at 7:34 pm

    I had no idea. I thought he plowed through pussy like a madman and was kind of womanizer. Just goes to show that first impressions can be wrong. Beautiful video

  18. Senni Hietaranta August 4, 2019 at 7:41 pm

    We all Love Eugene here (I hope Eugene reads this

  19. Amanda Skyring-Waller August 5, 2019 at 4:12 am

    It genuinely hurts my heart that he grew up thinking he was bad or something was wrong with him. Also, that friends or family would disown him because of the video. I've had so many friends come out to me and it makes me love and respect them more. Trusting me with that side of themselves is so special, especially when I've been one of the first people they've told. I applaud Eugene for making such a powerful video, it was so beautiful.

  20. SydDrawsStuff August 5, 2019 at 5:51 am

    "Are you finally happy?"
    Damn, that hits kinda hard

  21. Rose 831 August 5, 2019 at 8:27 am

    I can't express how much love and support I have for him. He's come so far and though he may struggle, he is so brave for doing this. He's an ins[iration to so many and if it weren't for him a lot of us in the LGBTQIA+ community would still be lost and alone. He's been a shining light in not only mine but so many others lives. Thank You, Eugene for being you and letting us see this new side of you. we love and support you no matter what.

  22. Eibhlin Nouwens August 5, 2019 at 8:34 am

    This is beautiful. You should be so proud of yourself. Btw you looked STUNNING in the purple and green scenes. 😍

  23. Ti reyes August 5, 2019 at 9:25 am

    I just have one question for those 17k people who disliked this video:

    why?

  24. seamoonwolf 83 August 5, 2019 at 1:07 pm

    I mean no bigge bro, these days if u aint gay u r at the bottom of the barrel lmao

  25. Simple Jim August 5, 2019 at 3:37 pm

    I felt Eugene’s childhood story. It’s the same as mine. I grew up from a broken home, always living in fear because of feeling of being different from others, kept everything inside me, and needed to harden my heart as hard as stone. Probably the darkest days of my life and I’m hoping that everyone that also faced or still facing a darkness in their life will finally come out of it and find their happiness 🤗❤️🧡💛💚💙💜
    I’m happy for you, Eugene! Love you 😘❤️ thank you for this amazing story of your life. You really inspired me! Thank you!

  26. Griss August 5, 2019 at 6:21 pm

    This sucks. He’s the one I fancied 😆

  27. nickole williams August 5, 2019 at 6:25 pm

    tbh i kidna already saw it coming, but i wish him the best as he is my favorite try guy.

  28. Umbrella Academy.thingz August 5, 2019 at 6:37 pm

    We love you Eugene no matter Gay or Straight

  29. Yahtzeeeu Ook August 5, 2019 at 6:47 pm

    Tell us something we didn't already know dude

  30. Rosa Swan August 5, 2019 at 8:10 pm

    Son…you can have two cranes.
    Really?
    No.

  31. Gacha Girls! August 5, 2019 at 8:18 pm

    I'm trying to tell my family that I'm trangender

  32. MelianaMeanz gachalife August 5, 2019 at 10:23 pm

    I Just Wanna Say Thank You Eugene For making this video..

  33. jason roy August 5, 2019 at 10:35 pm

    I feel like everyone that dislikes this are just people who can't understand what it means to him.

  34. Ash Wednesday August 6, 2019 at 2:21 am

    Are you sure this isn't just an advertisement for hot gay guys to hit you up?

  35. Coca Cola August 6, 2019 at 3:49 am

    When I first watched a try guy vid i assumed that he was gay

  36. The Honkler August 6, 2019 at 5:46 am

    I thought all of you were gay???

  37. manjuxbun15 August 6, 2019 at 6:18 am

    PAUSE AT 4:30

    “Pilot Test:

    Eugene is pitching the concept of launching a series for the Try Guys called ‘Movement Video’ – a way in which we can produce and direct awesome, more elevated music videos featuring up-and-coming artists with a viral frame that also works successfully as a widely shareable video. This would potentially create an ecosystem in which labels willing to accept a licensing fee will come to us to feature amazing tracks with the assurance that their artist will get an unprecedented amount of exposure by being featured on our channels”

    I know they have a lot going on rn, but I really hope this is in the works. If not, I would completely understand if they have to revisit it at a later time in order to give 2nd Try time to recover from their tour and book release (not to mention their weekly videos and podcast). Considering how enormous their audience currently is and will likely continue to be in the future, this is such an inspired idea. It would be so wonderful to see them use their internet presence to support artists who don’t have access to the kind of marketing power artists signed to huge music labels do have.

    (Also, I cried while watching the coming out video. I’m really glad they also shot behind-the-scenes clips).

  38. Jingus Christmas August 6, 2019 at 7:43 am

    Of course its the asian dude.. asian men im sorry yall are getting emasculated. Remember your grandfather the great ghengis khan. Make him proud bois!

  39. Charlotte Eden August 6, 2019 at 8:34 am

    you are my Rhianna

  40. YukarixAsukai August 6, 2019 at 8:35 am

    Congratulations im so proud of you im in tears my family wasn't accepting thank you for making such a powerful video

  41. CookieSnatcher :3 August 6, 2019 at 9:08 am

    1:35 Was I the only one that heard squidward
    Ya… Okay XD

  42. Q Tron August 6, 2019 at 3:05 pm

    Keiths my new favorite

  43. Stephanie Taco August 6, 2019 at 3:13 pm

    Good for you Eugene. Be true to yourself

  44. Yolanda Harper August 6, 2019 at 3:17 pm

    Beautiful. ❤️💔❤️

  45. Kara tika August 6, 2019 at 4:13 pm

    He's so inspiring 🙌

  46. Giuliana Saravia August 6, 2019 at 4:15 pm

    Ned, Keith and Zach are friend goals i want to be for any of my friends

  47. Taehyungs BÆ August 6, 2019 at 4:26 pm

    Wait i am confused
    Is he gay?
    If yes ,congratulations for your coming out

  48. WEB REB August 6, 2019 at 6:54 pm

    I hate gay people

  49. Amanda Ayala August 6, 2019 at 9:00 pm

    ❤️❤️❤️we love you

  50. becca bash August 6, 2019 at 10:34 pm

    Why all the hottest boys gay lmao love you so much eugene so happy for you

  51. Ryder Jones August 6, 2019 at 10:51 pm

    damn it Eugene now im sad

  52. Siân Thomas August 6, 2019 at 10:58 pm

    this is more beautiful than life

  53. Cinnubun King August 7, 2019 at 4:49 am

    Why is there pride month we get it your gay you don’t need a month because they like the opposite sex

  54. Teddy August 7, 2019 at 6:23 am

    wow

  55. Jade Lugo August 7, 2019 at 7:03 am

    "Are you finally happy?"
    My heart wants to break.

  56. CmeGoing August 7, 2019 at 7:59 am

    Omg i feel bad for Kim Chi

  57. Iroxinping August 7, 2019 at 9:12 am

    I would love to see the try guys interview 2020 candidates in hour long segments. it would be fun….. make them eat the menu from their favorite restaurant and compress 10h into 1h lol

  58. Stercast JS August 7, 2019 at 3:54 pm

    Eugene as a fellow Texan I hope you find everlasting happiness as a straight man your story and hardships touched me and I found enlightenment in your story I will be call my children today and letting them know it’s ok and I accept them no matter what as long as they find happiness themselves

  59. Letlotlo Sibanda August 7, 2019 at 4:28 pm

    We love you, Eugene!

  60. Isabel Ruiz August 7, 2019 at 4:39 pm

    So it’s actually like legit? He’s gay?

    I’m not hating or anything! I’m just asking because I just found and saw this video just now. So is this legit?

    CONGRATS

  61. Amberr Marie August 7, 2019 at 5:19 pm

    Eugene please give me that jacket I'm in love ❤

  62. Allen 831 August 7, 2019 at 5:41 pm

    I’m trans, and it’s really painful

  63. Lola Clarke August 7, 2019 at 11:43 pm

    This is an amazing video the way I came out to my parents was like this in a way I shot a little video I was sat in my bedroom and I cast it to the lounge TV and they watched it and I thought they would hate me from now on but they were so happy for me and all of this is because of Eugenes strength ❤️🏳️‍🌈❤️🏳️‍🌈❤️🏳️‍🌈

  64. Trapz -_- August 8, 2019 at 2:53 am

    Only if lesbian jesus was in the video 🙁

  65. Taylor Stone August 8, 2019 at 2:07 pm

    Eugene: It's like gonna be a big release.
    Me to myself: hahahaaaa..

  66. 1nn xcentz August 8, 2019 at 5:35 pm

    Dont worry because you guys get so much love and if people hate on you dont mind them their dicks

  67. Null Void August 8, 2019 at 6:40 pm

    PLEASE DON'T GET A WHITE BOYFRIEND, WE DON'T WANT ASAIN GUYS…EWIES

  68. Blair Elliott August 8, 2019 at 8:43 pm

    Kane did such a lovely job putting this BTS video together. His voice is so relaxing too.

    I love peeking into Eugene's vision.

  69. Blair Elliott August 8, 2019 at 8:47 pm

    I love Hannah Hart's support of Eugene's journey coming out officially as gay.

    I definitely want to make LGBTQ friends with whom I can talk for hours about gender identity and the feelings that coincide with that.

  70. Seoki Konkoa August 8, 2019 at 9:18 pm

    so inspirational. ♥️

  71. Lucy C August 8, 2019 at 11:30 pm

    As someone who predominately lives as someone who's straight, I have to admit that I've had it easy, a HELL of a lot lot easier, compared to many others around the world. I don't see why we have to believe that someone else's sexuality should affect us directly in any way shape or form, and hearing about how important and emotionally challenging this project was (as well as everybody else who feels they have to come out) just makes me want to cry, respect, and support the LGBTQ+ community more than ever. Just knowing how crappy people can be, so closed minded, is just frustrating because they think they're justified in how they think or communicate who they feel (through prejudice) when it doesn't directly affect them. I'm just coming at this from an emphatic point of view, rather than an egoistic point of view, and you guys just need to continue to be yourselves and explore your lives in whatever way you feel is necessary. Keep doing what you guys do, be artistic, creative and influential, and hopefully we can get to that point where nobody gives a fuck about who anybody is xxxx

  72. TheHound August 9, 2019 at 12:54 am

    Lmao so he didn't already come out like 5 years ago??

  73. Quinn Kirby August 9, 2019 at 1:21 am

    Thank you for this. From the bottom of my heart; thank you for this.

  74. Raymond Lizzol August 9, 2019 at 3:15 am

    Is this discrimination agents the church ,. Just wondering ?

  75. Katie Grutz August 9, 2019 at 6:57 am

    i cried watching this, this was beautiful

  76. DeathAwaken360 ' August 9, 2019 at 9:05 am

    No one cares

  77. Settings Showroom August 9, 2019 at 10:33 am

    ♥️

  78. Yana Minoza August 9, 2019 at 12:22 pm

    24:07

    Eugene's younger self: Are you finally happy?

    Now if I would've answered that I won't say yes, but either way I can't say no either. Like, pretty much I don't know. Like,

    Will I ever be happy enough?

  79. Broken Star August 9, 2019 at 4:21 pm

    Eugene's future husband will be SO lucky cuz Eugene is very unique it brings tears to my eyes cuz I really want him to be happy with who he is plus if I was a man Ill become gay for him xD

  80. Jack Summers August 9, 2019 at 7:32 pm

    Also Eugene a year ago;

    “I’m the only Try Guy who’s had a dick in his mouth.”

  81. Kevin Löffler August 9, 2019 at 11:37 pm

    im sure he is a bottom somehow

  82. JumpinJerry August 10, 2019 at 1:00 am

    Now you can be you my good man. 😀

  83. Jessie Mcconnell August 10, 2019 at 7:57 am

    I still havent come out to my parents soo respect to Eugene

  84. Bix Tix August 10, 2019 at 8:39 am

    Hey I knew it already by your face

  85. Emily Newbury August 10, 2019 at 10:28 am

    I watched the video and this one, and still cried. Screw you blue scene ;^;

  86. Ian Kim August 10, 2019 at 11:50 am

    ……

  87. lady Android 17 August 10, 2019 at 5:31 pm

    What country is gay

  88. FweakinDooDooHead August 10, 2019 at 7:55 pm

    Always do u 🥰

  89. coolchris bossatronian August 10, 2019 at 10:11 pm

    So I guess it's the try guys and eugene lol

  90. Bartimaeus18 August 10, 2019 at 10:34 pm

    I really appreciate that he's talking about the specific stigma behind being gay, as opposed to "queer".

  91. Myra Tanguma August 11, 2019 at 12:22 am

    Yay Eugene!

  92. Jadine Cross August 11, 2019 at 2:07 am

    I can’t count the amount of times I cried watching this video… I am so so SO thankful and awed from Eugene. As a gay asian kid, thank you so much.

  93. Trap Jesus August 11, 2019 at 3:19 am

    His view of being gay is soo relatable tbh

  94. Tracy Wong August 11, 2019 at 5:16 am

    This year I've already learnt so much about the LGBT community… I'm so happy to see you finally coming out and be open about who you really are… <3

  95. Ellie King August 11, 2019 at 1:36 pm

    I love all of this! As a bi woman who still hasn’t come out to half of her family it means a lot to hear a story being told that mirrors my own. Keep working on loving yourself queen. We all love you here.

  96. The Harry Potter Kitty Fanatic August 11, 2019 at 1:56 pm

    I know I'm late, but I feel so proud of Eugene.

  97. MaleBeast August 11, 2019 at 3:00 pm

    Gay bitch

  98. M Soda August 11, 2019 at 3:50 pm

    I understand the fear I’m a married mom of to and have had the fear on coming out as bisexual. Also understand as a minority feeling like you have to be the best at everything so people don’t see you mistakes or weaknesses as a stain on your whole race. Growing up my granny always used to say when we left the house we had to be prefect because some people would like for every mistake we made as proof we were less then others because of our race.

  99. Pawalee B. August 11, 2019 at 4:21 pm

    sometimes you should try loosen up a bit, put the whole universe down and don't worried too much. I wish for you to be more and more happier.

  100. Jeanette Firveld August 11, 2019 at 8:00 pm

    <3

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